The 23,000 word experiment…
I’ve always loved writing. Ever since I could do it, I’ve done it. At first it was full of smudges (I’m left handed) then it slowly evolved into spelling tests, basic poems, essays, emails, love letters, websites, blog posts and scripts for videos. There’s something about crafting words that fascinates me. I guess it’s the ability to conjure emotion and imagery from the use of a mere 26 letters and the odd ! ? . It can be profound when done well and as it’s something I care about, I’m always seeking to improve my own skill level with it.
One thing that’s had a huge impact on my ability to write is a beautiful book I read many many years ago. It’s called The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. It’s a guide for artistic types to help harness and evolve their creative powers. There is an exercise in that book that has stuck with me. It’s called morning pages.
It’s a simple process. Take out some blank paper or a journal and start writing. Don’t stop until you’ve filled three pages. Yes three. And let’s just be clear, the pages can’t be post it notes. A4 is good.
The aim of the process is to tap into a deeper part of yourself through stream of consciousness writing. For some people who read this, the prospect of writing three whole pages will be a breeze. For others, they’d rather hammer nails into their teeth. I get it. I’ve felt both extremes.
I’ve practised morning pages off and on over the years. At times, I’ve been very disciplined and made it a daily activity for long stretches. Then all of a sudden, it’s dropped out off my radar for just as long. Such is life. This practice seems to appear in my life when it’s most needed. I’ve learnt not to judge it. It just is what it is.
The core idea of morning pages is to free you up from your rational, everyday, gotta buy milk and pay the phone bill mindset, in order to delve into a place where ideas and imagination live. The way to access it is by literally writing down whatever comes into your mind. And then keep writing. And writing. And writing.
At first, it feels forced and strange because you’re told to write EVERYTHING that comes into your mind. No punctuation, no editing, no censorship. If ever the word random was justified in its use, it’s with morning pages. Random out the wazoo! I’ve written some odd stuff like donkey housefire eggwhite hunting spear too many Derryn Hinch videos. See what I mean? Weird.
That’s what happens at first, but after you burn off a layer or two of the cuckoo, something really amazing starts to happen. A dialogue begins…with whom or what I don’t exactly know. Depending on your level of interest in psychology, religion, spirituality, you could call it the higher self, the subconscious, the inner voice. The name doesn’t really matter. What does matter is the flow of information that starts to appear on the pages. Deep stuff starts to surface. Lessons on life. Questions with interesting answers. Truths that have alluded you until now. I’ve had powerful realisations in just about every aspect of my life through writing morning pages.
And here’s the kicker. When you’re finished writing those pages for the day, you’re not even meant to read over them. You’re just meant to let them go. The exercise isn’t to shape those words into a novel, it’s to open your mind, clear out the crap and allow another part of yourself to shine so that you may embrace your creativity on a whole new level. If you’re really gutsy, you’ll tear them up and throw them out. Or go full pagan and burn them.
I found a better solution. Through fate and magic — meaning I can’t remember how — I was introduced to a website called www.750words.com. They’ve taken the concept of morning pages and turned it into an online version. Three pages of writing equates to 750 words, hence the name.
For a nominal monthly membership fee, you get your own account and every day you login to a blank page, ready to absorb your words. Being a modern version, there are lots of cool little things the site does for you. For example, it counts your words as you type. You can write as much as you like, but you must write at least 750 words for it to be recorded. Speaking of recorded, your pages are totally private. Not a single soul will ever see them. Not even the owners of the site. It’s private, so you can go nuts on there.
I think that’s the hardest thing to do: let go. Really trust that it can be uncensored. I struggled with this for a long time. What if someone read my darkest thoughts? What if I got famous and broadcasters were dredging up juicy information about my life? What if my Mum read it? Actually my Mum doesn’t own a computer or a smart phone, so phew.
It does raise an interesting point though. In today’s exposed life, we’ve all become extra self-conscious, carefully presenting a highly cultivated and curated self-image. We all want to be liked. Deeper still, we all want to be seen and heard, but only as much as we’re comfortable. But is that the full truth?
No. The truth is that we all have darkness, judgements, fears, anger, guilt, shame, etc. It’s natural and is part of being human. These things exist inside us and unless we have a safe outlet for them, they mutate into other things. Things like addictions, moodiness, meanness, control issues, being overly nice or numbing ourselves.
So there is a need to release these built up emotions and doing morning pages on something like 750words is a very effective and safe way to do it. It only takes about 10–20 minutes, depending on how quickly you write, and the consistent feeling I get when I do it is one of clarity, calm and readiness for the day ahead. Not bad for writing a bunch of letters on a page.
The 750words site also has a bunch of algorithms running in the background that can actually assess how you are feeling and what you’re mostly concerned about. It then presents it to you in a colourful pie chart, outlining the various shades of your mood and mindset. It does a bunch of other things like tell you whether you were writing more from first person “I”, second person “You” or third person “They”. And it tracks which words you used most often for that session.
Fascinated by this, I decided to do an experiment. I took a screenshot of the ‘feeling’ and ‘areas of concern’ pie charts everyday for a month, hence the photo at the beginning and end of this article. I wanted to know what my patterns were. It’s easy to get caught up in daily life and lose track of a broader perspective. This was a way to get a visual on how I’m doing as a human in the world.
At the end of the month, I’d written around 23,000 words, roughly a quarter of the average book. I found out that my feeling state was predominantly affectionate and happy with a side order of self-importance and some smatterings of sadness, anxiety and feeling upset. I also discovered that my main areas of concern were money and success. Sounds about right.
For those of us into developing ourselves, this kind of data is excellent for cross-referencing the areas that need attention and the inner resources we can call on to deal with them. More importantly, it gave me insight into how I tick and that kind of self-awareness is always enriching.
So what’s the point of all this? It’s really about finding ways to express yourself in the world and to do it in a manner that feels safe. We are all multi-layered beings with deep wells of untapped energy stored inside the very things we are afraid to express. If you can use something as simple as morning pages to open the vent a little bit each day, you will start to notice a newer, fresher, more connected you emerging. A you that is connected with your truth, your depth and your authentic voice.